Sh*t My Therapist Says

Yep, just like that old Twitter trend. Below are 10 things you might hear me say in session. I include it to give potential clients an idea of who and how I am in session spaces.

Note: the following should not be considered treatment recommendations, advice, or agreement to treatment outside of an established therapeutic relationship and signed completion of informed consent paperwork.

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“Even when we understand the reason, that doesn’t excuse the behavior.”

• A lot of us fall into the pattern of thinking that just because we can see why someone (including ourselves) made a certain choice, that means that there is no harm done or that the harm done doesn't 'count.'

  
  

“Good job, brain!”

• I say this to both clients (when they catch themselves falling down rabbit holes that we've been working on addressing and reorienting) and myself (when I remember something).

  
  

“but/and”

• Many things can be true at the same time, and not negate each other.

“You deserved better than that.”

• You did.

• Yes, you did.

Pretty much any swear word you can imagine.

• I won’t ever cuss AT you, only about situations, I swear 😊 

• Please let me know if cursing makes you uncomfortable or is triggering. I am happy to modify if you're happy to give me grace for slip-ups!

“Unfortunately, I am neither dictator nor deity.”

• Sad but true.

• I use this to describe things that are outside of my control, and to normalize the fact that even when we have power in situations we never have complete control.

"Hold please" and "One second, there are too many tabs open in my brain."

• Self disclosure: I have an ADHD brain, and sometimes it gets ahead of me!

• I make sure to take action to ensure that I am as present and focused on you and your treatment as possible each session, and sometimes, that requires a moment for me to mentally recombobulate and prioritize.

Crossing my fingers

• Okay, this one isn't verbal, but/and you will probably see me do it.

• I cross my fingers when I have thought of something but don't want to interrupt your train of thought, in the moment experience, or story. It helps me remember what I want to say while maintaining presence with you.

"Have we talked about XYZ/intervention?"

• I typically have a caseload of about 30-ish clients, so I may forget that we have already talked about and ruled out a tool or skill.

• This doesn't mean you aren't important or that I forget everything we discuss!

“I’ll light a candle for ya.”

• I often end sessions with this phrase, as a way to remind folks that I wish them well between now and the next time I see them.

• Yes, I do indeed light candles every session day (and usually every day...I like candles, what can I say?).